2.27.2011

Self Control in Children

Self-Control in Children:
"Being disciplined is more important that being smart. Being both is not just a little better-it’s exponentially better.”
This can be called self-regulation or executive function. “Just like the science of intelligence, the science of self-control has shifted in the last decade from the assumption that it’s a fixed trait – some have it, others don’t-to the assumption tit’s malleable. Its affected by everything from parenting styles to how recently you ate (the brain burns a lot of glucose when exercising self-control). The neural systems that govern control can get fatigued, and, according to one study, those with higher IQ suffer more from this kind of fatigue.” “Children appear to be highly attuned to the quality of their parent’s relationship." Children are “emotional Geiger-counters.” In one study, research found that children’s emotional well-being and security are more affected by the relationship between the parents than by the direct relationship between parent and child.” “…being exposed to constructive marital conflict can actually be good for children-if it doesn’t escalate, insults are avoided, and the dispute is resolved with affection. This improves their sense of security, over time, and increases their pro-social behavior at school as rated by teachers.” Resolution has to be sincere, not manipulated for their benefit-or they’ll see right through it.

2.13.2011

Emotional Edge


Emotional Edge

The nicest gift we can offer our partner is to be aware of our emotional edge.
To “know thyself” generously provides your husband or wife with the most loving partner they could have ever hoped for! Being aware of your personal and “emotional edge,” messages sent  to the brain that keep you calm, clear-headed, and rational. Awareness of our own low-level cues serve to notify us of areas of discomfort, and potential “red zone” or “hot buttons.” Once we cross over our emotional edge, we become irritable, angry, or afraid. And, once negative feelings arise, it’s hard not to blame our partner.

2.08.2011



A fairly recent television ad for an antidepressant that shall remain nameless used the tagline "Depression hurts." And really, you couldn't say anything more truthful about this amorphous and much-studied yet little-understood condition. Depression can sap the life out of you, make you feel worthless, self-destructive, and like there's nothing in the world that's real except for the pain. I know the feeling, believe me. I know how people with depression can be so sensitive to painful situations and triggers that we can sometimes literally be afraid of normal human interaction for fear of the pain. We may pop pills, abuse drugs or alcohol, or numb ourselves in a myriad of other ways just to feel that we can cope. Let's face it simply: Depression sucks. So how can something so painful be our teacher? read more

2.05.2011

National Conflict Resolution Center is offering Third Saturday. 
Third Saturday is for men and women who are contemplating or in the middle of divorce, legal separation, or other family law matters.
This is a highly-respected seminar, offered in North County for more than 20 years. 
Upcoming Dates are February 19th and March 19th.
Pre-registration is $35.00. 
Workshop is from 9:00-1:00pm, located at Liberty Station in San Diego. 
Contact 619.238.2400, ext. 0 for more info or www.ncrconline.com