7.31.2011

How Successful Are Couples in Business?

    
Couples in Business
     As the economy has become more challenged, I see this trend rising...wives who help out with husband's small company to save money and utilize resources, partners that perceive financial advantage in living together and combining savings to create a side business, down-sizing that has reduced a large staff to a few key players wearing many hats, or a layoff that naturally leads to the recruiting of your spouse/partner.  

 
     On the surface, these all sound like practical business ideas, but, are there serious risks to the intimate relationship?
     How will co-owning a business interfere with romance and passion? Will a married couple approach a business venture with similar styles, or, are they more likely to "take things personal" and come away from day to day business tasks with hurt feelings? Do the costs outweigh the benefits? 
     Small Business Association reports that 50% of new businesses fail within the first year, but we don't have a more specific breakdown of family-owned businesses within that percentage, I'd guess it's very high.These are relevant issues and worth meaningful contemplation.

In Small Business Management, Michael Ames gives these reasons for small business failure:
  1. Lack of experience
  2. Insufficient capital (money)
  3. Poor location
  4. Poor inventory management
  5. Over-investment in fixed assets
  6. Poor credit arrangements
  7. Personal use of business funds
  8. Unexpected growth Gustav Berle adds two more reasons in The Do It Yourself Business Book:
  9. Competition
  10. Low sales
     As in all healthy partnerships, communication is the necessary foundation to setting goals, problem solving, and  recognizing both strengths and weaknesses. 
     Many business owners working out of their home have created some clever ways to distance themselves from the "work day" by 1) closing the door of their home office or creating a separate and distinct space from home life 2) unplugging from phones, and 3) setting a limit for work hours (i.e. no work after 6:30pm).
     Finally, the hardest decision that any business partnership must confront is this: when to get out. If personal funds are keeping a small business afloat -often the case in our current economic struggles- two individuals within the couple dyad will typically have varying degrees of tolerance for financial distress and loss. Each partner may have strong feelings and beliefs about retirement savings, cashing out a 401k, or stashing aside college funds for children. 
     Counseling, or mediation services, may be the best way to thoughtfully discuss how working with your lover will impact both your relationship and your earning life.
     And, if you are a business owner working with your significant other in a successful manner, I think an e-book is a terrific idea; nothing like that out there!
*****
A great book for new dads!

7.29.2011

Why Do People Shoplift? The Steal, by Rachel Shteir


Employees stealing from their employers is on the rise. Does the five-finger discount imply that the economy has improved, since employees are willing to risk stealing and be fired? Or, does it suggest that employees are suffering such hardship that they are risking it all? Perhaps shoplifting is an emotional outlet, a compulsion that increases during times of anxiety and despair?

"Rachel Shteir's The Steal is the first serious study of shoplifting, tracking the fascinating history of this ancient crime. Dismissed by academia and the mainstream media and largely misunderstood, shoplifting has become the territory of moralists, mischievous teenagers, tabloid television, and self-help gurus. But shoplifting incurs remarkable real-life costs for retailers and consumers. The "crime tax"-the amount every American family loses to shoplifting-related price inflation-is more than $400 a year. Shoplifting cost American retailers $11.7 billion in 2009. The theft of one $5.00 item from Whole Foods can require sales of hundreds of dollars to break even." 
***** 
Panic Attacks Send Warnings 
A study based on 24-hour monitoring of panic sufferers while they went about their daily activities captured panic attacks as they happened and discovered waves of significant physiological instability for at least 60 minutes before patients' awareness of the panic attacks.
In a rare study in which patients were monitored around-the-clock, portable recorders captured changes in respiration, heart rate and other bodily functions, said Meuret, lead researcher on the study.
The new findings suggest sufferers of panic attacks may be highly sensitive to -- but unaware of -- an accumulating pattern of subtle physiological instabilities that occur before an attack. read more

*****
There Are Consequences To Ideas

7.28.2011

Self-Esteem Varies by Age and Race


by Mary Elizabeth Dallas, HealthDay

"Although Hispanics tend to have lower self-esteem than blacks or whites in the teen years, by age 30 their self-esteem has increased to the point that they have higher self-esteem than whites, a new study suggests.
And in both adolescence and young adulthood, blacks have higher self-esteem than whites. By age 30, whites trailed both Hispanics and blacks in terms of self-esteem, according to the report published online July 4 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology." read more...
*****
Children Want To Live Next to Us
We Don't Need To Perform For Them
-Marian Wright Edelman

7.26.2011

Tina Fey - The Natural History Museum

(cool free clipart from puglypixel.com)
*****
"I understand" ...the two nicest words in the world.
*****
The San Diego Natural History Museum
coupon
*****
Tina Fey, Comic Genius

The 30 Rock creator solved comedy's alleged "women problem" by fighting chauvinism with funny.






7.24.2011

Sex and Intimacy


 **Sex and Intimacy**

The most common sexual problems for men are
1) lax erections
  • a) getting an erection
  • b) maintaining an erection
  • c) and completing the sexual act to the desired effect of both partners
2) premature ejaculation. Areas of focus here may be male partner's awareness of anticipatory disappointment, "my wife will be angry" or "it's going to happen again." These thoughts will further maintain the dysfunctional premature ejaculation cycle. Learning the "squeeze technique" may be helpful to this couple as well warm and gentle discussion of each partner's fears and deep desires to please one another. Medical conditions, such as obesity and diabetes, often interfere with a man's ability to achieve an erection. Other psychological disorders, such as depression, will hamper a man's libido due to increased cortisol (stress hormone)  and decreased testosterone.
The most common sexual problem for women is no or low sexual desire. Three thoughtful questions will be a) does sex feel pleasurable to her once initiated b) is she able to achieve orgasm and c) is there physical discomfort or pain?
Many medications negatively impact libido.
"... Research on the effects of attachment security suggest that a secure partner will be able to communicate more openly, assert needs more easily, be more empathic and responsive to his or her partner, and explore physical and emotional closeness in and out of the bedroom."
It's no surprise that psychological stress, such as anxiety and depression, create less arousal and less satisfaction in physical pleasure. Arousal requires relaxation, the ability to let go and surrender to physical sensation.
Women want positive feelings prior to the sexual act. Men feel more connected to their partner during and after the sexual act, with the positive feelings and connection towards their partner lasting for some time...what a conundrum!
Sexual pleasure in a long-term relationship occurs when each partner is able to attune oneself to the moment, each other, and fully engage. Therapy provides a safe place for reasonable dialogue to occur. Breaking the negative patterns of communication can help ease a couple towards physical closeness and pleasure.
As one may expect, infidelity will create a severe physical rift between partners, as can years of resentment or psychic injury. Yet, there is always room for improvement and a skilled professional can guide a couple through a rough patch of physical disconnected-ness.
Initially, it may feel awkward to discuss these very personal and delicate matters with your partner and a third party. But, over time, the sexual topic becomes "normalized" and begins to feel safer and comfortable. It is a necessary conversation
*Even contented couples may experience a flatness of energy in their sexual relationship, either temporarily or for extended periods of time.
*Some couples have never enjoyed satisfying sex but are happily married.
*One partner may desire a stronger sexual component in the relationship (a natural higher libido than their partner).
*Life circumstance may be interfering in an otherwise healthy relationship - birth of a baby, care giving responsibilities of others, death of a family member, job loss, physical injury or illness. 
Most common physical challenges to sexual intimacy: For men, prostate surgery and diabetes. For women, physical pain during intercourse, either due to medical condition (i.e. bladder surgery) or a psychogenic disorder related to past trauma (i.e., rape, incest.)
Aids available! There are helpful aids available to improve intimacy, such as, hormone creams, physical therapy, vaginal aids, and biofeedback. Learning to vocalize (breathing with sound) can also be a breakthrough for women desiring greater physical sensation. 
Physical pleasure is worth fighting for.
Sex is important to a healthy relationship.
***** 

7.23.2011

New Zagat Dining Rules for 2011 and Bill Simmons on Sports n Pop Culture



Bill Simmons, scathing sports columnist, has expanded to a daily blog, with commentary on Hollywood, Media, News, and Events, NFL lockouts, Pirates, Oscar winners, and more. Snappy writing, sharp thoughts, provocative podcasts...Grantland.com
 *****
10 New Rules for Dining Out. 
(I love it!)
*****
def: Hobson's Choice
Think Sophie's Choice. Both options are bad...the lesser of two evils, a double-bind.

7.21.2011

Men, Trauma, Teen Boys and Mental Illness


I enjoy many of the articles posted on The Good Men Project. Their latest article about
men, trauma, and abuse is well-written and therapeutically accurate. Read more... Men and Trauma.
Also, don't miss 5 Things I Wish I'd Known About Teen Boys and Mental Illness.
 *****
2 Cool Ideas for North County Residents

Jam Sessions
with Professional Jazz Musicians

Every Friday Night from August 5 — September 2, 2011
from 7 — 10 p.m.
California Center for the Arts, Escondido

Calling all local musicians! Show off your musical talent at the all new Jam Session series on Friday nights. Bring down your instrument and jam with the pros on our stellar outdoor stage in front of a live audience! Not a performer? Bring your friends and plenty of lawn chairs to enjoy a great night of jazz music under the summer starlit night.

This event is free and open to the public. Audience members are encouraged to bring lawn chairs. For more information, please call the Center’s Ticket Office at (800) 988-4253.
~
Antique and Collectible Show

Sunday August 14, 9:00am and 3:00pm
California Center for the Arts, Escondido
The North San Diego County Antique and Collectible Show is your one-stop show of a variety of exquisite and hard-to-find items. Between 35-50 quality vendors from the San Diego area come together to sell their unique collections at this antique show on the second Sunday of every month from 9:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. in the Conference Center (Located across from Starbucks)

Admission into the show is free. Professional appraisals are available for $5.00 per item (limit 3 per guest). For more information on the show, please contact (760) 839-4140. 

*****

7.20.2011

Addictive Medications, Heroin Use & Oxycontin

 

With abuse increasing, Army limits addictive meds

Posted at 11:29 AM on Monday, Jul. 11, 2011

- Associated Press
*****

Heroin use on rise in Valley

Narcotic is cheaper alternative to prescription meds.

Posted at 09:54 PM on Friday, Jul. 15, 2011

*****
*****

7.17.2011

Why Rape Survivors Don't Report It


     It's a common question: "Why didn't she report it?"  Rape and sexual assault numbers are grossly under-reported because many victims do not report the crime. Why?
     This is the most complex psychological element of rape and sexual assault; one that makes others (family members, loved ones, partners) frustrated with the victim, at times, suspicious and doubtful of the event itself.
     Here are some reasons: (I will use "she" in referring to victim, since most - but not all - sexual assault victims are women)
  • She was drinking under legal age and fears she will get in trouble (fired, etc)
  • She was somewhere she wasn't supposed to be 
  • The aggressor has more social power(more money, maybe a prestigious job title)
  • She assumes she will not be believed
  • She has a negative impression of authority or law enforcement
  • She was intoxicated
  • She was drugged and there is some memory impairment
  • She fears that her parents (or spouse) will be angry 
  • She fears that she will be blamed
  • She thinks that she should "get over it" 
  • Trauma survivors want to avoid the feelings surrounding the event; they mistakenly believe that ignoring it, denying it, not talking about it, will make it less real
  • She does not see how reporting the act will make her feel better
  • She feels guilty and believes she "caused it"
  • She may have agreed to some lesser form of physical intimacy
  • She has been assaulted before 
  • She feels too humiliated and overwhelmed to discuss the event
     Consequences of NOT reporting a sexual violation are made even more problematic because the victim comes to understand that additional women may have been assaulted as a result of her NOT reporting it, leading to additional guilt. 
     All of these emotions are normal responses to trauma...denial, shame, avoidance, self-blame, feelings of impotence and weakness.
     Human beings automatically respond in ways that preserve our well-being (self-survival) when faced with a life versus death situation. 
     Extreme feelings of helplessness and loss of control ignite a belief structure that enables a person to survive in that moment, but, after the event, that fight or flight response is no longer helpful. At this juncture, therapy is the most ideal way to recover from the trauma. People can heal and recover from their worst experience. 
     Can a police report be made if the assault was a long time ago? Yes, often times this final step can be a necessary step in a woman's therapeutic recovery. Can a woman be the same person she was before the attack? Yes - but the goal of recovery is not to forget about the event. 
     In closing, these are unhelpful comments for a loved one who has experienced an assault: You will get over it. Time will make it better. Why didn't you report it? There's no point in talking about it now. It will never happen again. Helpful comments are as follows: I can listen as long as you would like me to. Shall we make some calls and find a counselor for you to speak with? I can hear you  are feeling bothered and upset by this experience.
 

*****

    

7.15.2011

Playing with Baby, Normal Behavioral Milestones, Baboon Mothers


Zero To Three 
is a terrific national, non-profit program, aimed at early education, healthy nutrition, and behavioral screening. 
Here is the site, with a cool "Play" calendar.
They have a great Facebook Page as well.
*****
Close Social Ties Make Baboons Better Mothers
"If you're a baboon, the strength of your mother's relationship with other females is the best predictor of whether you'll live to have children yourself," said Joan Silk, the study's lead author and a UCLA professor of anthropology. "The study adds to mounting evidence of the biological benefits of close relationships among females."
The findings are significant because "survivorship to reproduction is the gold standard in evolutionary biology," said co-author Dorothy Cheney, a professor of biology at the University of Pennsylvania. "Females who raise offspring to a reproductive age are more likely see their genes pass along, so these findings demonstrate an evolutionary advantage to strong relationships with other females. In evolutionary terms, social moms are the fittest moms — at least when it comes to baboons."
Collected on the ground by primatologists who tracked the baboons six days a week, 12 months a year, the records reflected the sex and survival rates of baboon offspring, as well as telling details of the mothers' social lives, including their ranking within the group, as measured by the direction of approach/retreat interactions, and the amount of social interactions they had with each of the group's other females.
In addition to showing how often one animal approached another, the records of social interactions included details of grooming, which is known to be the primary form of social interaction in Old World monkeys. The researchers noted how much time — frequency and duration — the females spent grooming each other and how often they solicited grooming from other females.
Of all the factors studied, the strength of a mother's social bonds with another female had the most significant effect on the survival rates of offspring. A mother's dominance rank proved to have no affect on the survival rate of her offspring.
"We really expected dominance status to be more influential than it proved to be," Silk said.
Offspring from the most social mothers turned out to be about one-and-a-half times more likely to survive to adulthood than offspring from the least social mothers.
The strongest social bonds were measured between mothers and adult daughters, followed by sisters and all other potential relationships, including aunts, nieces, cousins and baboons with no familial ties. Bonds between mothers and adult daughters proved to be three times stronger than those between sisters and 10 times stronger than relationships with other females.
"What really matter to these girls are mother-daughter bonds," Silk said. "They're really strong, and they last forever. If your mom is alive, she's one of your top partners, always. But more importantly, it's the strength of these bonds, because females whose bonds with their mothers and daughters were strong had higher offspring survival than females whose bonds with these relatives were weak."
For the new study, researchers followed offspring from 1 year of age through sexual maturity — roughly 5 years of age. The new study also differs from past baboon research by focusing on the strength and duration of relationships between pairs of females rather than on the amount of social interactions in general. "The benefit comes not from being wildly social — it's about having close social bonds," said Cheney, who runs the Moremi baboon-tracking project with University of Pennsylvania psychology professor Robert M. Seyfarth.
Additional research is needed to determine how the female bonds improve infant survival, but it may have to do with such stress hormones as cortisol, Silk said. Research has shown that prolonged elevations of stress hormones in primates can lead to cardiovascular disease and other serious health problems. Research has also shown that grooming tends to lower these stress hormones in baboons.
"Our research suggests that somehow there is a link between the kind of social relationships you form and the natural, normal stresses that occur in everyday life, and that seems to have — at least in baboons — a long-term effect on reproductive success," Silk said.
Said to share 92 percent of their DNA with humans, baboons are close relatives of humans. Baboons and humans last shared a common ancestor about 18 million years ago. The new findings on social interactions among mothers parallel recent research that has shown health benefits for humans who enjoy particularly close social networks.
"Our findings suggest benefits from forming close relationships are built into us from a long way back," Silk said.
~

7.14.2011

Common Phrases Not in The Bible, Free Amazon App Today Only, More Rumi



Most Scripture Attributed To The Bible Isn't In The Bible!
"This Too Shall Pass"
"Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child"
"God Helps Those Who Help Themselves"

10 Things CNN's Religion Blogger Learned...

*****
Free Droid App for today only
(icookbook) 
*****

The only lasting beauty 
is the beauty of the heart - Rumi

7.13.2011

Full Moon Pier Walk at Scripps ~ Rare Opportunity to Visit!



Full Moon Pier Walk - Rarely open to the public!
July 15th-October 11, 2011 (7 dates available)
Walk along the Ellen Browning Scripps Memorial Pier, normally closed to the public, on an exclusive moonlit tour with a Scripps naturalist. Participants will learn about the history of Scripps Oceanography and current research projects, while collecting plankton, performing experiments, and exploring the nocturnal habits of marine life. Ages 9+ (Minors must be accompanied by a paid adult). $25.00 per person.
Advanced registration required. 
Reservation info here 

7.11.2011

Are Women More Emotional Than Men?



Are women really more emotional than men?
     I frequently hear women say, "I'm better able to express feelings than my husband" or "He isn't a good talker like I am."
     Here is another way of saying something similar, and, more complete. "Men de-escalate their emotions better than women because they learn how to do this at a young age."
Most men learn very early on that - given their size and capability - to walk around in the world with their feelings on the surface, is risky. Walls get punched, arrests get made, expulsion, 86'ing, etc.
     Testosterone and masculinity are equally powerful in their emotional range as a woman's. But, given the consequences, the sooner a male learns how to control his behavior, the better. 
     Adult men between ages 18-25 are the largest group to die an accidental death. Neurology is behind much of the way male brains respond differently than females, less impulse control, more fight or flight because of the hormone, testosterone. Adolescent males run at a high-risk for all the dangerous activity; motorcycle crashes, slipping off of mountains whilst peeing in the dark, diving, head trauma - women do not encounter the same level of physical danger behind their emotional life.  I don't know many females that punch a hole in their bedroom wall...what male do you know that hasn't struck an inanimate object in a silly fit of anger? 
     In other words, men cannot afford to indulge their feelings - while women haven't learned how to stop the feelings and, as a result, become entangled beyond their control, which is why women are caricatured as irrational, weepy - crazy, even.
     The animal kingdom is a good example of male prowess. When older male elephants are removed, the young male elephants run amok with the herd; they flounder, and become violent, less socially cooperative. The herd suffers without social controls on their masculinity.
Men frequently say, "If I feel my anger, I'll lose control" or "I learned through sports to keep my nerves at bay." Or, even more profoundly, "Once I start crying, I can't stop, so it's better not to start." Frequently, men can offer the date of their decision they turned a switch to "handle my feelings better" - a product of something emotionally overwhelming, also known as a Fisher King wound.
     There are large populations that discourage feelings as a survival tactic, "don't show your fear" or "keep a poker face," i.e. dangerous neighborhoods, military culture, corporate negotiations. By the time a man finds himself in a meaningful adult relationship, with a female partner who has needs about hearing of his inner-world, he has spent years organizing those emotions like a levee. 
     Again, look at the animal kingdom as a better illustration; males succeed in perpetuating procreation by puffing up, being bigger, faster, stronger - in a word, dominating.
     Wisely, young boys are encouraged to channel their energy into physical outlets, such as sports, because we know this about males, even as little boys, "teach him martial arts and get that energy out." As I speak with grown men about their thoughts and feelings, it's quite clear to me that they share a deep emotional life, a world of feelings, for their partner, children, family, career goals. (And, yes, men too prefer making love over meaningless sex).
     We really are barking up the wrong tree by minimizing a man's feeling-life or insulting his internal depth. Instead, we can learn to appreciate the power of male energy, acquired self-control, and how it serves our society as a whole. One could even argue that our evolution has sustained itself by the male's learned ability to withdraw (even metabolically shutdown, less verbal skills, more gross motor skills for fleeing or fighting) when confronted with danger to species survival. Men attached to ekg's show an alarming response to female criticism, with chemicals in the brain becoming charged, or, "flooded." Women, not surprisingly, are better able to neurologically process verbal confrontation in the higher-brain areas.
     So, instead of suggesting that men are shallow and emotionally callous - this may be a more thorough way to see them as whole human beings with highly developed skills involving self-control,  combined with learned social behaviors that overall, keeps the ecosystem leaning more towards safety and less towards chaos.

7.10.2011

Travelers Aid @ LAX...Grounded. No Safety Net at Large Airports



"Travelers Aid had provided social workers to help with serious travel emergencies.

"Travelers who get lost and fall through the cracks won't have that safety net," says Christine Okinaga, the Travelers Aid Society's highly regarded director of volunteers, whose last day was Thursday.

Barbara Landon, a volunteer for three years, says, "Now, we'll just turn them over to the police."

And, Okinaga notes, "They won't be a social services agency the way we were."
*** 

7.08.2011

Retail Shopping Secrets / Roseanne Barr's New York Magazine Essay

Frugal Money Saving Tips

*Unsubscribe from online Groupon's and Others
 *Stop Store Catalogues
*Don't Window Shop
*Stay Out of Stores That Nickel and Dime Ya (for me, that includes target and Michael's)
*Buy One-Time Holiday Decorations at Local Thrift Stores


 *****

This brilliant essay about Hollywood and fame, written by Roseanne Barr, was recently cited as one of the best reads of 2011 so far. Enjoy.



7.07.2011

New Job Postings - Initial Mental Health Diagnosis in Children




*****

Primary Care Doctors are Critical to Detecting Mental Illness in Children The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI ) recently released a survey on family experiences with primary care doctors who treat children and adolescents living with serious mental illness - exposing a broad gap between family needs and practitioner knowledge and resources.
"Most Americans rely on family doctors and pediatricians for early detection of mental illness and in many cases treatment," said NAMI executive director Michael Fitzpatrick. "We also know there is a critical shortage of more than 20,000 child and adolescent psychiatrists nationwide."
"Family dependence on primary care for mental health needs is especially great in smaller communities and rural regions. Primary care professionals need to be prepared to meet the challenge."
Findings include:
  • Sixty-three percent of families reported their child first exhibited behavioral or emotional problems at 7 years or younger.
  • Only 34 percent of families said their primary care doctors were "knowledgeable" about mental illness; 17 percent said "somewhat."
  • Fifty-nine percent said their primary care doctors were not knowledgeable about mental health treatment.
  • Sixty-four percent said their primary care doctors were not knowledgeable about local resources and supports for families.

7.06.2011

Liz Weston's Question of The Week, Sunday L.A.Times, Business Section


Dear Liz: Do you have any advice for a family of six with only $200 a month to spend on food? My wife and I are in dire need of advice, as our bills keep increasing but neither of us has gotten a raise in six years. We have two garnishments on our paychecks that effectively take 50% of what we make. After health insurance and 401(k) loans are deducted, we bring home $2,000 a month. Our rent takes $1,400 of that and utilities take most of the rest. Do you have any miracle advice for us?
Answer: Many families are facing your dilemma: flat incomes with rising costs. But your wage garnishments and 401(k) loans indicate you have a history of mismanaging your money, which has led to even more pain.
You need the advice of an experienced bankruptcy attorney. Wage garnishments by federal law aren't supposed to exceed 25% of your disposable income, and state laws often provide even lower limits. If you can get your garnishments adjusted or have them wiped out in a bankruptcy filing, you may be able to create more breathing room.
In the meantime, see whether you qualify for the federal government's Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (formerly known as food stamps). If you make too much money or have too much in assets to qualify, you can still visit a food bank to supplement what you're able to buy.
If you can't find a way to lower your costs further, the only solution is more income — not an easy prospect given the high unemployment rate, but you may be able to find a job at a competing business that pays more or start a business on the side.
Unfortunately, there are no miracles when it comes to money math. You can't make two plus two equal five or have outgo that exceeds your income without eventual disaster.

Liz Weston is the author of "The 10 Commandments of Money: Survive and Thrive in the New Economy." Questions for possible inclusion in her column may be sent to 3940 Laurel Canyon, No. 238, Studio City, CA 91604, or via asklizweston.com. Distributed by No More Red Inc.

7.05.2011

Youth Obsessed Culture, Wise Mind



     Once again, I overheard the early morning television announce, "because of our youth obsessed culture..." blankety blank. I don't believe it. I know that popular media (television, film) loves new talent and beautiful-looking characters, however, in my daily life, my professional world, of clients, friends, and co-workers, I see lots of examples of middle-aged folks, smart and had working people, who are not youth obsessed!
     Yes, everyday, I see seniors walking the seawall along the coast, sometimes surfing, taking classes at the rec center, learning how to use the computer at our local library. They are curious life-long learners, open-minded, but, they are not youth-obsessed.
     In fact, often I hear this instead, "I wouldn't go back in time for nothing!" Youth has physical vitality on its' side, definitely. But, beyond that, youth is mostly full of angst, struggle, effort - an unknowing. Aging is about growing a wise mind - the sophisticated and mysterious combination of both rational mind and the emotional mind. The rational mind is lacking in compassion, humility, experience. Emotional mind operates as childish, impulsive, and greedy. Wise mind is my lofty goal. You?
*****

7.04.2011

Ray At Night Art Walk and Spanish Village


2nd Saturday of Each Month in North Park, 6:00pm-9:00pm.
Art on the Sidewalk...Super cool to watch and support artists in action.
Music, Art, Jewelry, Blown Glass, Ceramics, Sketching.

I also love Spanish Village at Balboa Park.  
Try to introduce your kids to art and live music as soon as you can. Museums, art exhibits, and live music are often free. I drag my kids to shows as often as possible, even if they resist the idea. Once there, they always report to enjoy it. I feel it's as important as exercise, math and reading skills.

It feels good to support my local artistic community.
Just attending, walking around and saying "Hi!" to fellow San Diegans is a nice change.
Research shows that people who are "connected" to others -  a church group, charitable work, people who share your same hobbies - have better health, live longer, and report to be "happier." 
Give it a go!

***

7.03.2011

Young Men Most Likely To End Up In The ER This Weekend

(From Time MoneyLand Blog) 
Fourth of July weekend is meant for celebrating liberty, and that often translates into people feeling free to splurge on parties, drink to excess, and play with fireworks. By one estimate, underage males are more than twice as likely to wind up in alcohol-related visits to the ER this weekend, and consumers in the 18- to 24-age category are expected to spend the most money over the holiday ($379), with men spending more than women.
A survey from Visa has it that the average American will spend $216 on travel, food, entertainment, and of course, fireworks and beverages this weekend. Men spend more than women, on average ($247 vs. $182), young people spend more than older folks ($379 for 18- to 24-year-olds, $155 for 50- to 64-year-olds), and Southerners spend more than residents of other parts of the country—$263, on average, compared to $146, $178, and $230 in the Northeast, Midwest, and West, respectively.
Ostensibly, a young man living in the South will whoop it up and party the most this weekend, a theory that doesn’t sound too far-fetched.
- Brad Tuttle, July 1, 2011

7.01.2011