Anxious Parents, Anxious Kids

Children whose parents struggle with anxiety are 2- to 7-times to develop an anxiety disorder themselves, according to , a psychologist at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine who studies childhood anxiety.

That's partly a result of how parents view the world. If they see it as a scary place, their children often do as well. Parents are a child's role model for many behaviors, including anxiety, says Ginsburg. "So if a parent is showing anxiety, jumping up on a table when they see a mouse versus reacting calmly, we know children are more likely to develop fears similar to what their parents are showing."

NPR - Listen Here

Local Couple's Workshops and Retreats

Four Upcoming Workshops and Retreats for Couples

These meet the gold standard of healthy communication, respectfulness, and expert training in Marital/Couple improvement, with Gottman curriculum & materials.

These are often "refresher" exercises, with writing, reflection, and education incorporated in the workshop. Each event has it's own flavor - some are geared towards couples on the verge of separation and others are for those newly married, or simply wanting to improve what's already good.

Workshops are not meant to be couple's or group counseling.

August 9th

http://www.couplestherapyinsandiego.com/TheArtScienceofLoveWorkshop.en.html

September 27th

http://couplesworkshopsandiego.com/?p=about_couples_workshops

November 8th

(good to plan and reserve these in advance!)

http://www.acouplesworkshop.com/Welcome-The_Art_&_Science_of_Love-Southern_California.html
And, for Catholic Couples, this weekend.

 

Apologizing

"I think I must have stepped on your toes. That certainly wasn't my intention. I'll try to be more aware of how my thoughts and actions impact you and our relationship."

This is a thoughtful and loving amends (notice that you aren't even really admitting to doing anything wrong). 
It is insightful and respectful of your partner's feelings.

What is Insight?

Insight is a learned skill.
 

"What could I have done differently?" 

"What is my part in this problem?"

Insight allows one to learn from mistakes - to recognize patterns and choices.

Prison is made up of folks with minimal to zero insight.

Insight is not a reflection of intelligence. It is a reflection of character development.

What is co-dependency?

The definition of co-dependency is altering your behavior in anticipation of another person's reaction.

Summer Reading List

From College Admissions Counselors

What to Read:

 Parents, Students and Everyone Else

Tree of Life Nursery, Artisan Mini Fair, June 14th, 2014

The Tree of Life Nursery is located in San Juan Capistrano, off of Ortega Hwy. The drive there is beautiful...and once there, you'll find a whole different climate. Warm, windy, and remote. Sage and lavender blowing under giant California Native species. If you need a small Manzanita, the selection here is wonderful. This Saturday would make for a great family field trip, photographing, or just a nice place to do some quiet writing. A real gem.

http://www.californianativeplants.com/index.php/news-blog/383-artisan-mini-fair-june-14-14 

just because you fail doesn't mean you are a failure.

"The only normal people are the 

ones you don't know too well."   

~ Rodney Dangerfield

"Don't separate yourself. 

You are not better. 

You are not worse."

Best words ever spoken before passing:

"I have loved and been loved. 

The rest is just background music."

Viktor Frankl

by Shannon Hoodges

"Frankl endured the nightmare of having almost his entire immediate family (wife, unborn child, mother, father, and brother) wiped out at the hands of the Nazis. Miraculously - perhaps unimaginably - he managed not merely to survive the death camps but to transcend them. 

He spent the remained of his long, influential life promoting resilience and life meaning.

Frankl believed that meaning (not sex or aggression) was life's primary motivating force.

He further maintained that attitude was the one freedom that no one - not even the Nazis - could expunge."