Relation dyad:
A relational dyad is made up of the emotional pairing of two people.
It can be a relationship between any two people, such as, father and son, neighbors, teacher and student, husband and wife, co-workers, boss and subordinate, or brother and sister.
A relational dyad is made up of the emotional pairing of two people.
It can be a relationship between any two people, such as, father and son, neighbors, teacher and student, husband and wife, co-workers, boss and subordinate, or brother and sister.
The idea of “relating” is specifically concerned with the significant thoughts and feelings that we experience with another person.
Situation (I say hello)
Thought about this interchange (I like him and want to see him again)
Feelings (positive)
Another more in depth example: Situation (discussing a budget with partner) Thoughts (she’s not listening to me) Feelings (angry).
This is the relational sequence of events – creating an “experience.” In real life, of course, this flow, or sequence, occurs within a flash.
Many times we walk away from an encounter and have a flood of emotion (either good or bad) and are unable to concisely explain what just happened. We may say, “I feel stressed” or “She really upsets me,” but that isn’t very helpful in our goal towards positive and loving relationships.
Successful therapy crunches an “experience” into minute thoughts and feelings so that we may examine where a conversation or interchange becomes conflicted or upsetting. In other words, we can begin to break the negative cycle.
If you are visual, it may help to view it this way. The situation = black, the thoughts that follow = white, and the feelings = gray
.
Increasing personal awareness of our thought processes helps to slow our heated reactivity to others and respond more thoughtfully.
Many people believe that feelings “happen.” Someone may say, “We can’t talk” or “He confuses me.”
In fact, thoughts happen first…feelings follow. On average, each person has 400 thoughts per minute…our brain is always working (even when we sleep!).
So, back to an example…if I have lunch with Bill (situation) and think to myself, “Bill likes me.” My feelings might be “happy” - I had a great time, a positive experience. On a deeper level, a more accurate description is “We connected!”
Having connected-ness with someone is the experience we most want.
When we feel connected to others, we believe we are “seen,” fully seen, and “heard.”
Another example: I have a disagreement with a neighbor. I say to myself, “she’s irrational.” I then “feel” angry, afraid, or frustrated.
Describing our experience as accurately as possible helps others relate to us. Conversely, as we are better able to see and hear our loved ones, increased compassion enables us to stay connected and allow others to feel loved. Human nature draws us to these positive experiences.