Why Rape Survivors Don't Report It

     It's a common question: "Why didn't she report it?"  Rape and sexual assault numbers are grossly under-reported because many victims do not report the crime. Why?

     This is the most complex psychological element of rape and sexual assault; one that makes others (family members, loved ones, partners) frustrated with the victim, at times, suspicious and doubtful of the event itself.

     Here are some reasons: (I will use "she" in referring to victim, since most - but not all - sexual assault victims are women)

• She was drinking under legal age and fears she will get in trouble (fired, etc)
• She was somewhere she wasn't supposed to be 
• The aggressor has more social power(more money, maybe a prestigious job title)
• She assumes she will not be believed
• She has a negative impression of authority or law enforcement
• She was intoxicated
• She was drugged and there is some memory impairment
• She fears that her parents (or spouse) will be angry 
• She fears that she will be blamed
• She thinks that she should "get over it" 
• Trauma survivors want to avoid the feelings surrounding the event; they mistakenly believe that ignoring it, denying it, not talking about it, will make it less real
• She does not see how reporting the act will make her feel better
• She feels guilty and believes she "caused it"
• She may have agreed to some lesser form of physical intimacy
• She has been assaulted before 
• She feels too humiliated and overwhelmed to discuss the event

     Consequences of NOT reporting a sexual violation are made even more problematic because the victim comes to understand that additional women may have been assaulted as a result of her NOT reporting it, leading to additional guilt. 
     All of these emotions are normal responses to trauma...denial, shame, avoidance, self-blame, feelings of impotence and weakness.
     Human beings automatically respond in ways that preserve our well-being (self-survival) when faced with a life versus death situation. 
     Extreme feelings of helplessness and loss of control ignite a belief structure that enables a person to survive in that moment, but, after the event, that fight or flight response is no longer helpful. At this juncture, therapy is the most ideal way to recover from the trauma. People can heal and recover from their worst experience. 
     Can a police report be made if the assault was a long time ago? Yes, often times this final step can be a necessary step in a woman's therapeutic recovery. Can a woman be the same person she was before the attack? Yes - but the goal of recovery is not to forget about the event. 
     In closing, these are unhelpful comments for a loved one who has experienced an assault: You will get over it. Time will make it better. Why didn't you report it? There's no point in talking about it now. It will never happen again. Helpful comments are as follows: I can listen as long as you would like me to. Shall we make some calls and find a counselor for you to speak with? I can hear you  are feeling bothered and upset by this experience.
 

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