In this case, it was her friend who struggles with stomach distress. The friend had been away on vacation for several weeks, and didn't experience one day of stomach distress while on vacation! She whispered to me, "I think she's going through a hard time and needs someone to talk to, but don't know how to say it."
Well-meaning friends, partners, family members, usually have at least one person that they know would benefit from therapy - but how to present this issue to your loved one?
It all depends on the kind of existing relationship you have with someone...if it's your partner, and the relationship has been strained or high in conflict, you are not the right person to suggest therapy (your partner will hear this as criticism or blaming). If the relationship is that of parent and child, with issues of past disappointment and unresolved anger or hurt, again, the individual presenting the idea will be rebuffed.
But, if you are a friend, neighbor, viewed kindly and lovingly by the other party, the news will be well-received.
So, how do we deliver the news to someone hurting, angry, defensive, scared, ashamed? There is almost always ONE person that the individual trusts...a coach, a sibling, best friend, a goofy aunt or aging beloved relative. This person is the ideal bridge to common sense and can serve as a life-saving reality check.
It saddens me to say that sometimes we get one crack at getting someone the help they need...it best be used wisely. Take time to research therapy available prior to presenting the idea, find a nearby clinic or affordable counseling, if money is a concern. Find some websites, make some calls and get the names and numbers. Stay organized and FILTER the information into a manageable stream. People who are depressed are usually disorganized and easily overwhelmed. Offer to accompany the person for the first appointment...provide transportation. There are ways to make the idea more palatable.
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