Rules on spanking vary by state. In California, a mark must not be left on a child's body and an object may not be used to inflict the spanking (i.e. spoon, paddle, belt, switch, brush).
Also, a teacher, coach, or neighbor does not have the legal right to spank or strike your child (this is assault).
Interestingly, the word "spank" has a very different connotation in other countries - it is a sexual reference. The similar word in England for the American spank is "smack."While each family has the legal right to physical discipline, aka corporal punishment, within the laws of their state, it is worth evaluating your position on the value of physical punishment, which raises another good question: is physical punishment "discipline?" Discipline is teaching, guiding, shaping - as in disciples. Punishment is all together another subject.
Read this week's CNN Science on Spanking article.
While many wonderfully effective parents choose to spank - and often see it as a last resort to teach their child a grave lesson - it's not recommended that pre-verbal children be struck. In other words, if your child cannot speak, striking him is futile, and much more likely to have the reverse effect. And, there are more effective ways to consequence your young child.
A good clinician is able to offer several other alternatives to spanking for this age group (distraction, eye to eye discussion, speaking low and slow to your toddler, sitting quietly with them in a non-verbal two or three minute time-out.) Please know that most "time-outs" are not done correctly. Here is an excellent little book that illustrates the ideal model for utilizing time-outs.
Yelling or screaming never works with kids; yes, it gets their attention, scares them; but it is not a long-term parenting strategy that holds water.
This is a terrific book that outlines healthy and effective ways to discipline your beautiful child in a positive and non-spanking fashion. Kids, Parents, Power Struggles.
Please take note: Not spanking does not a permissive parent make :) In other words, limit-setting, rules, expectations, consequences, and discipline are a necessary and healthy task of responsible parenting.
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November 17th, 2011, 6:00-7:00pm.
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