Study: Men's Porn Habits Hurt Women's Self-Esteem
When does a harmless habit become hurtful?
By Kristin Wong Mon 4:39PM
As
a generation of men are growing up with virtual sex lives, their
real-life partners are becoming increasingly unhappy, a new study finds.
Specifically, young women with porn-loving partners feel they just
can't measure up to Jenna Jameson—or whoever happens to tickle their
man's fancy.
Destin Stewart is a clinical psychology intern at
the University of Florida. After her clients began complaining about
pornography use in their relationships, Stewart decided to study exactly
how porn use is affecting those relationships.
She surveyed 308
college women (ages 18 to 29) and asked them about their current
partner's pornography habits. She also wanted the women's perspectives
on their relationship quality, sexual satisfaction and self-esteem.
Stewart found that the ladies who reported their partners looked at porn
more frequently were not only less happy with their relationships, they
also had less self-esteem and were less satisfied with their sex lives.
Stewart told LiveScience that
when some women discovered pornographic material on their partner's
computer, it made them "feel like they were not good enough, like they
could not measure up."
While one might argue that the men weren't
there to confirm their habits in the study, it's apparent that
pornography is negatively affecting an increasing number of
relationships. Psychiatrist Norman Doidge studied the effects of porn
use in his patients and then reported the findings in his book, The Brain Changes Itself:
"They
reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their actual
sexual partners, spouses or girlfriends, though they still considered
them objectively attractive." Doidge wrote about his patients. "When I
asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography,
they answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex,
but over time had the opposite effect."
Stewart says that when
porn becomes a problem in relationships, she advises women not to
compare themselves to porn stars. She also urges couples to communicate
and compromise.
"It's just about trying to do some education
about what is realistic and unrealistic and trying to get couples to be
honest about what their wants and needs and desires are," Stewart said.
As
much as we women would love our men to only have eyes for us, let's
face it. As long as there are women willing to do anything, everything
and put it out there for the world to see, men are going to look. But
Aristotle said to seek moderation in all things, and while I don’t think
he was referring to watching online porn, it's not bad advice.
Photo: Patrick Sheandell O'Carroll/Getty Images