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6.30.2013

Wine, Women and the Wall Street Journal



Photo: Getty Images.

Author Gabrielle Glaser talks to WSJ’s Gary Rosen about the growing problem of alcohol abuse among upper middle-class women and why A.A. is not the solution for most of them. 

"A few summers ago, I stuffed my car full of the last flattened cardboard boxes from a cross-country move and headed to the recycling depot of my suburban New Jersey town. I pulled up behind a queue of slender women at the wheels of shiny SUVs. Their eyes concealed by giant sunglasses, they hopped from their seats to their open trunks and, one by one, reached for the bags that are the totems of upper-middle-class life: silver ones from Nordstrom, plain ones from Whole Foods. Out poured wine bottles, clanking into the rusted recycling truck."


This piece, Why She Drinks,  ran in the Wall Street Journal a couple of days ago. It starts off with some great points. I’d recently noticed, and commented, that women (mommies, church gatherings, running clubs, etc) have normalized wine. What's up with all the women and wine?

Somehow, wine has become harmless. It’s surprisingly socially acceptable these days to throw back the wine.


But, the article then takes a weird turn, finding it necessary to admonish Alcoholics Anonymous because 1) it was founded by men 2) a long time ago. Guess we should we do away with the Penicillin and electricity as well...I mean, they were discovered by men - a long time ago.

What I love about AA is that they stay classy. Their traditions prohibit them from entering public controversy (they cannot even defend themselves!). Classy.

I’m fine with any style of seeking sobriety -church, Antabuse, white knuckles, whatever!
But, why bash AA to promote your route to abstinence? This article just makes it even harder for someone with alcohol problems to find their way to AA, by adding fear and shame - ya know, a woman with a drinking problem has a short supply of that.


AA is the gold standard for sobriety seekers. I know two people - one male, one female - that stopped drinking one day. Just stopped. They are fine. Really fine. Once heavy drinkers, they decided alcohol was a problem. They stopped - with no AA. I see them often - and it appears as if they are out of the woods. 


But, AA offers more than the drinking stopping. My words would be feeble, attempting to explain what AA offers to millions of once-alcohol infused, abandoning her children, beating his wife, burning the toast, sneaking the Vodka in the OJ, or just not sleeping well, for years on end. In my practice, I often hear about the evenings that drizzle into nothing after a bottle or two of wine. Alcohol becomes a third party in a marriage. Alcohol becomes the shallow reward after a normal day of life. And when I review lifestyle goals in January with folks, I hear repeatedly two top contenders: Watch less TV and drink less alcohol.

Finally, I reject the "13-step" comments about men and new women. (So, what’s better? Picking up guys on bar stools as drunken women?) I think it denigrates the good AA members. Sure, there’s always a lechy amoral guy in the room somewhere  (is any group immune?) but the serious members, the vast majority, are busy helping others and getting on with their lives.