Catching One's Self

Mammogram Mindfulness
by Diana Shimkus

     Today, while preparing for a mammogram, I noticed an unusual contraction in my solar plexus, signaling some distress. I entered into inquiry of this body sensation, and was curious about its root source. Before long, I was quickly led to the imaging room by a lovely technician who kindly asked how I was doing. I told her that I was noticing some very slight physical tightness in the abdomen and was guessing that this might suggest some unanticipated anxiety. She promptly offered, "You shouldn't feel that way", and gave me several factual reasons my dis-ease was unfounded.
     I was prepared to "be polite" and to tell her things were fine, but recollected my commitment to wise speech and decided to risk the truth. After a few breaths, I went on to tell her that it was obvious to me that she intended her statement to relieve my distress and that I could see her good heart in wanting my well being. 
     I also told her, that when she said, "you shouldn't feel that way", I had a reaction of more intense body contraction along with a feeling of inadequacy, that was not her fault but rather an old reaction to the old limiting believed thought that I was "getting it wrong".  
     As I relayed my experience, the technician became tearful, which quickly prompted my own welling up in the shared truth of our human vulnerability. After a moment, she shared, "I know I said that to you. When you just shared that with me, I actually heard the words I say to myself everyday. Your distress made me nervous and I didn't want that."  
     This is an example of compassion and mindfulness spontaneously arising from the shared truth of the moment. I am grateful to the technician for her profound willingness to share her real self with me.  May we all be fearless in our pursuit of the reality of our own experience and that of the moment. May we never be separated from this truth, ourselves and each other. May we all be well.
Contact Diana Shimkus @ 760-310-2920 http://everydaymind.com/