7.25.2015

We can often identify conflict in our primary intimate relationship as an unhealthy exchange between one of our three internal parts, or ego states, (either adult, parent, or child) and one of the parts, or ego states, of our partner (their adult, parent, or child).

If my "parent" is communicating with my husband's "child," it's guaranteed that he will feel scolded and fearful (bad boy!), while I will feel resentful and disobeyed (you should listen to me!).
Each of us has one of these three parts highly developed, sort of an old tape or our natural set-point left over from early childhood.
The healthiest communication and the sexiest relationship is one that allows for a mostly adult-to-adult exchange. It can also be healthy to fluctuate a bit between these roles, as some parenting can be healing as can some child-like play. 

Adult - learned state  (emotionally intelligent)
Child - felt concept
Parent - taught concept

  Transactional Analysis.

And a Great Video with James Hillman on Carl Jung

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