Healthy Relationships & Avoiding Co-Dependency

 Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling

Solutions in order from above : 

Gentle Startup, Take Responsibility, Describe Your Own Feelings/Needs, Do Physiological Self-Soothing



"Helpfulness is the sunnyside of trying to control someone or something." (always check your motives and don't be co-dependent!)

"I'm worried about you" is often code for "I want you to be doing it differently," or, "I'm not happy with your choices."