Fatherless Boys, a Purposeful Life

An Example of a Purposeful and Well-Directed Life 

stumbled upon this from modfarm on Instagram “We both grew up in rural Minnesota, so it wasn't a stretch to think about returning to rural life. However, we both intentionally decided to move to the city for college, and to continue living in big cities for about ten years after that, both on the East Coast and in the Midwest. When we moved back to St. Paul from Rhode Island just after we got married in 2008, we started talking about what we saw our life like in 10 years, and we both organically came to this place of wanting space. Wanting to walk out our door in the morning and see an expanse of land, trees, living things. We could also feel the rhythm of farming. The daily rhythm of chores and tending to animals and plants, but also the seasonal rhythm of dark nights and quiet in the winter, hectic planning and movement in the spring, the bounty of summer, and the calming, slowing color of fall as things start to return to the earth. That rhythm to me is comforting, calming, and incredibly grounding. It's how we build our days into weeks, which build into months, years, decades, and it's how we want to fill our lives."

and this...modfarm  When @theurbanexodus asked organic farmer, writer and activist Eliot Coleman why he thought some people from the original Back-to-the-Land movement stayed while others eventually went back to the conveniences of city life, he offered this thoughtful response. 

“It’s very simple, the ones who got into it as a reaction against the world they disliked didn’t last, while the others who were in pro-action toward the world they wanted to see, did last. The positive action is stronger than the negative reaction. There is an old saying that you should choose your enemies carefully because you become more like them than anyone else. In positive pro-action you have no enemy, rather a goal you want to see realized.” - Eliot Coleman


Marital Compatibility, Brain on Porn, etc

Thirty Questions to Ask Your Husband

Treatment for Sexual Dysfunction

Intelligent Premarital Questions

Male Brain and Porn

PORN has been a great area of interest for me for  the last 10 years. Recently, Time Magazine came out with an amazing piece on this whole subject. Please buy it. 

The take-away was that adult men are not able to enjoy physical intimacy (maintain arousal and achieve orgasm!) with their willing, loving female partner because of their porn habits.

The male brain is most vulnerable to this material…and it has a long-lasting, grave impact on the way they will treat women and find future satisfying relationships in adulthood.
This is no feminism or faith speaking - and every consenting couple is free to invite eroticism into their bedroom any way they see fit. I will always encourage couples to create their own set of standards for safety and fun. We can write our own rules. BUT, like other stimulants, or outside agencies that we use to keep life entertaining, there are limits and consequences.


Thank you for tolerating my two week absence.
I enjoyed a terrific 10 inches of new snow at Bear Mountain with the family.

I spoke at the Kiwanis Club of La Jolla on Friday, about Post Traumatic Stress.
What a nice and warm group. I also watched them present a  check of $3,000 to Meals on Wheels. I'm told they fund 
raise and donate $280,000 a year to local groups. Wow.

I am speaking this Tuesday at Cal State San Marcos, to the Graduate LCSW program. Can't wait!

In my Meditation Class, we talk quite a bit about insomnia and poor sleep. Read more here