How Does Therapy Work?
With a sincere desire to seek some changes in your thinking, or your lifestyle, or your relationships, a person can develop increased self-awareness; awareness is always the first step to improvement, at anything, right? Next step is conceptualizing how one would like their thinking/behavior to be different - less negative, less nervous, more confident, more connected to others, more self-control or less angry.
Once this is identified, we hope to give it language. Learning how we feel, then learning how to speak to it, (giving it a name) is powerfully helpful. Simple so far! The rest of it gets easier....perhaps, meditating on these basics concepts will bring insight and a new awareness.
Sometimes the work at hand is bigger than these ideas, i.e., deciding on whether a relationship should be terminated, choosing a new job across the country, helping an adult child that is self-destructive, choosing marriage, or whistle blowing on a superior.
When we are optimally functioning, those larger decisions come a bit easier. When we are emotionally bogged down with fatigue, physical pain, financial stress, insecurity, our decision-making is compromised, literally. Research shows that basic math becomes challenging once the brain has worked beyond its reasonable limit.
There are reliable principles that can guide our road to contentment - we do not need to reinvent the wheel. For example, couples that spend time with other couples stay together longer. Married people live longer, make more money, and report greater health.
Children that feel heard and loved by their parents will have better relationships as they grow older. Kids that watch their parents problem-solve will problem-solve better than parents who stay in conflict. Avoidance of the things that scare me does not make my fear go away. Couples can recover from infidelity. Learning to be single is healthy. If you fight when you drink, stop drinking. Exercise and meditation contribute to clearer thinking and less anxiety.
Often times the major factor in a supportive counseling experience is the gentle act of being heard, hearing one's own voice, and feeling validation.
Wherever we are in the struggles...
a knife cannot sharpen itself.