White Lies, Fudging, and Fibs
National Geographic Magazine did a large expose on lying this month, full of extensive research and study. Here is my psychological spin on what they didn't say:
1) We lie when we are afraid to hurt someone ("I can't go to the movies tonight even though I really want to. I forgot that my son needs a ride to work that evening.")
2) We lie when we are afraid that someone will be mad at us ("I don't really care for your new boyfriend so we won't be joining you.")
3) We lie when we are hiding something ("I'm sick and can't come in today.")
Ultimately, these lies are a way of controlling how someone will feel, think or behave. And, the less- attractive name for that is Co-dependency.
Research shows that children catch their parents in numerous white lies though out the week ("Tell the salesman at the door that we are not home") and they realize, regardless of their young age, that we are telling flat-out lies!
The personal goal for may of us might become the willingness to be truthful, even if we'll look bad or let our loved one down; learning to tolerate someone else's displeasure.
("Your boyfriend stepped pon my toes last time we met. Can we give it some more time?")
("I need a mental wellness day but I'm not actually sick.")
("I was looking at pornography and I am ashamed of being caught.')
blessed are the cracked