The greater the love, the greater the grief. Monday was the one year anniversary of Chris's passing. I was reminded that his suffering ended that day, so I survived the day with less sorrow. Chris didn't go around with a bumper sticker on his car that said, "Family First." He just did it. He didn’t draw attention to himself about how devoted he was to our family. He just did it. Day in and day out, he never faltered in giving the most that he could each and every day. He didn’t brag or boast. He had disdain for people who did that. My favorite story that I heard after Chris passed was from Japheth, our "bumper guy." He told me that Chris was his only client that sat in the car all the while work was being done. Just sort of...participating. There is no love without loss. My husband loved Christmas...Christmas music. He loved the beginning of summer. He loved the smell of night air that reminded him of Vista in the wayback days. He loved good fruit. He loved a great meal. He was scuba certified and he jumped out of an airplane via parachute maybe 50 times. He didn’t mention these things often but I believe he released himself to the next world having gotten the most out of the marrow. Because I loved him so much, I don’t think he deserved what he got in the end. The ugly monster of cancer. Another friend sent me the quote from C.S. Lewis: "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." Chris absolutely had his faith in The Great Spirit. If there is a heaven, I know he is there. Measure twice. Cut once. Honorable.