Uber Driving is a Level Playing Field

Mayors Against Political Violence

 

Recent national surveys (2025–2026) show that approximately 20%–36% of Americans express some degree of support for political violence, depending on how the question is worded.

From 2022 to 2024, an annual, nationally representative, longitudinal survey in the United States (US) has found concerning prevalences of support for and willingness to engage in political violence. This study examines changes in those prevalences from mid-2024 to mid-2025.

What the latest research shows:

Survey finding Percentage

Believe political violence may be necessary to save the country (PRRI, Jan. 2026) 20%

Believe violence is usually or always justified to advance at least one political objective (UC Davis, 2025) 35.6%

Believe violence is never justified in general (UC Davis, 2026) 77%

Very or completely willing to personally commit political violence across multiple scenarios (UC Davis, 2026) 12.5%.

Support for democracy remains very strong in the US.

Nearly 90% of respondents continued to consider it very or extremely important that the US remain a democracy.

Respondents increasingly saw American democracy as facing a serious threat.

Pubmed/UCDavis

Two Mayors Against Political Violence Video

Make America Whole Again

 

How Estrangement Has Become an Epidemic in America

 ‘Just Talking’ Delays Commitment in Romantic Relationships 

Yes, I have heard this protracted “just talking” in phone-only dating as a real buzzkill to future meaningful romance. I couldn’t put my finger on the reason but this explains some it. “With access to thousands of potential partners via social media and dating apps, many emerging adults are struggling to let go of their vast sea of romantic options and commit to a partner. One of the fundamental ways that 'just talking' interrupts the romantic relationship formation process is that it delays the clarification of commitment. The development of commitment seems to have slowed down, yet other aspects of romantic relationships have sped up, like the timing and initiation of sex.”

 

Make America Whole Again

Can a diverse new political coalition and a catastrophic natural disaster help us reclaim the unity Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned?

Monica Harris

Masculine Mental Health

I recently returned from a two week trip to Malta, small Mediterranean island off of the boot of Sicily, where my grandmother was born and raised, and I have relatives still living in the country. It struck me, as my oldest son and myself walked in the town Throughout the days was the cluster of men that start the day together, sitting in the plaza or looking out at the water, strolling, having lunch, perhaps enjoying a cappuccino at days end. It is a palpable feeling, the male friendships and the agent of it all. Old men, laughing on a bench, telling stories, that I can only assume have known each other for many decades, if not their entire lives. The warmth and joviality was something to behold. I witnessed the opposite of isolation.

Malta, as a small side note, has the third youngest median age in the EU - a suggestion that family life is thriving and communities are supported. 

The psychology and social work profession is virtually male-free. 

Current educational pipelines reveal male mental health providers at just 20% in psychology and 12% in social work. 

To my female clinician cohorts, I ask, how do you reach out to males in your community? 

How can we better understand masculine psychology and incorporate it into meaningful therapy outcomes?

Men have higher unemployment, daily marijuana usage, suicide and addiction rates, and with boys falling behind at twice the rate as girls in lower schools, it is incumbent upon clinicians to tap into a deeper understanding (authentically) and appreciation of the male perspective to be effective in a counseling environment.

We have done a superb job of increasing female college attendance in most areas including targeted STEM fields with direct messaging such as "The Future is Female," (a 1970's slogan, revived in the 2010's, by Sally Miller, who advocated that the males should be reduced to less than 10% of the population), "nevertheless, she persisted," and "Girlboss," resulting in female enrollment surpassing males in advanced degrees, including both law school and medical school. In 2020, the CDC rolled out the Hear Her awareness campaign to reduce maternal deaths by  educating women on serious health concerns but more importantly, teaching physicians on the artistry of hearing women. The campaign boasts of 400 million visitors to their website, bravo! Certainly, elevating female health should not, and does not detract from male needs and the nuance special language - or does it?

The only tagline that I’ve heard trend towards men in the last decade has been "toxic masculinity," not exactly favorable messaging.

In a field such as mine where women practitioners dominate, I encourage a special sensitivity and awareness around uniquely male vulnerabilities which often become problematic and drive men into therapy: pornography, sexual desire, anger management, gambling and criminal activity, lifestyle potholes that women seem to inherently bypass.

New areas of concern in recent years have been the loss of male role definitions in the dating game and the fear of false allegations on campuses that heavily tilt towards the female. Moreover, looming on the horizon is the AI model for romance, which will undoubtedly be more appealing to males than females, further maintaining the growing division between the sexes.

Men typically enter therapy with a fear of being characterized as the problem. The talk-therapy model is hyper-verbal, favoring the female brain, and the lingo is its own brand, often feminized. Men can become easily flooded, a counterproductive process unless both therapist and client establish a shared language. For therapists like myself working with couple's in conflict, re-interpreting the position of each party and pumping the emotion brakes at crucial moments will avoid male client's tuning out or feeling unheard.

Men may resist entering therapy out of concern that their political values will be dismissed by what they assume are left-leaning or liberal therapist types. Additionally, faithful or conservative males may assume they will not be understood for their core values. Research published in Behavioral and Brain Sciences found that mental health professionals are more politically liberal than the general population. In a survey of over 800 mental health professionals, 68% identified as liberal or very liberal, compared to 26% moderate and only 6% conservative.

It is critical that a therapist set his or her political leanings aside and center the patient’s world view as a baseline of respect.

A common complaint in my office, working with hundreds of couples over the past 30 years, is something like, "He is harsh with our kids," or "He is so angry." A simple psychoeducational explanation is useful for each spouse to grasp the sex evolutionary drivers. It actually helps to learn that men and women are different - Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (1998) brought a lot of comfort to the sexes. Denying our differences does not bring comfort; "happy wife, happy life" is catchy but harrowing, and in fact creates a marital malaise. In our effort to champion equality, we have stifled the sweetest differences. 

We shouldn't be destined to swing from one extreme to the other. Yet, as the social currency of everyday men is devalued, the adoration of horrifically misogynistic men like Andrew Tate fill the void. 

Robert Bly, in Iron Man (1990), explored the Western "soft" male passivity that occurred in the 1970's, perhaps refreshing after the 1950's emotionally-isolated male. 

The 70's might be defined as a coming of age for psychology; a synthesis of feminist psychology, the women's movement, and transformative groups like EST that encouraged emotional release and breakdown. Bly's interpretation that mentorship, fatherly guidance and sexual energy had been muted as male initiations, rituals and social value were lost in the shuffle. Mature masculinity requires clean fighting, clear boundaries, and most importantly, the notion that women cannot replace the camaraderie provided by men. 

As journalist Sebastian Junger, embedded with U.S. troops in Afghanistan, outlines in his book, Tribe (2016), war time brotherhood proves to offer great psychological well-being, a sense of community and purpose. 

If the communal scaffolding is not in place to support the necessary mail, is therapy able to take its place? I believe the sense of camaraderie that is simulated so naturally can be seen and the Los Angeles Homeboy industries gang rehabilitation program. The remarkable program is to observe, male support and comfort at its best, it is modeled, permitted, and promoted. 

Oftentimes the best therapeutic direction I can give a man in my practice is to inquire about the men in his life that have been confidantes. With consistently positive feedback, I often suggest a client make contact with another male that has meant something to them in the past, even if now distant -  a pastor, brother, coach - is likely to offer an open-arms reception, furthering the drum circle of meaning and engagement. Reconciliations with men from their past are typically psychologically healing.

Familiarizing ourselves with the "lived experience" of one half of the world's sex will better inform our skill-set in the counseling environment. Three real-life examples used as a litmus test for the female counselor to equip herself with heroic masculinity are societal events with a heavy impact: every firefighter that went into the burning towers on 9/11 were male. And when a shooter went into the Aurora, Colorado theater and opened fire, killing 12 people, four of them were men who willingly, in a visceral split second, made the ultimate sacrifice by shielding their girlfriends with their own bodies. Finally, as Russia invaded Ukraine, I watched the news feed for several hours straight as Ukrainian men lined up to leave for frontline combat, with an imprecise current death toll estimated to be 46,000-80,000.  The women and children were on buses, tearfully looking through the windows as their men left for war.

A couple of years ago, I was sitting in a crowded airport terminal when a small child, about 4 years old, began crying. After a few minutes, several of us looked around and realized this child was walking unattended. As we all became alerted to a lost child, and simultaneously positive the parent would quickly present themselves, just then, the child wandered into the men's bathroom. I was aghast, but still hopeful that a parent would come around the corner frantically searching, but instead, again, in an instant, a man came out of the men's restroom holding the child, a stranger's child. Why should anything different happen? To everyone's relief, Mom ran up just at that moment, shaky and grateful. The sexism of low expectations, or worse, had those of us in the airport imagining the worst case scenario.

 

I advise new counselors entering the field to self-check for gender bias and navigate a deep dive into Michael Gurian as I have (attend a workshop) or catch up on the social project of George The Tinmen. 

Professions that course-correct are healthy and trustworthy; therapists are curious and compassionate by nature.

Robert A. Johnson, a Jungian analyst and author of He (1974), asserted that true masculinity involves integrating feeling, compassion, and integrity - the very aim of sound clinical efforts and the kind of work that counselors expertly midwife.

Perhaps the mental health field will create a campaign to attract males to a rewarding career in counseling, e.g., nursing experienced a 4-fold increase in the 80's with a successful targeted recruitment to increase the male nursing workforce. 

Until then, it is left to the front-line women to deepen their knowledge of masculine psychology. 

I hope they will come to delight in the masculine mind. 

Younger men are turning to testosterone therapy in hopes of boosting mood and muscles. But there are risks of harm.

I have thought for quite awhile that testosterone replacement would become part of standard healthcare for men over 50 (post andropause: declining testosterone levels in men equal to menopause for women), stated matter-of-factly here. However, young men using it for mood elevation is a new development. And certainly not recommended.

 “Historically, testosterone therapy was thought to increase the risk of prostate cancer and heart attack. Recent clinical trials have provided strong evidence against this. Yet most of the safety studies on TRT have been conducted on older men whose testosterone levels have declined. Younger men, particularly those under 30, have not been widely included.

The side-effects and potential long-term health risks for older men can be quite different from those faced by younger men. This means that the effects of TRT use in young men are still uncertain and until longer-term safety studies are performed, many dangers may not yet be known.”

Read here Article 

 

Why Do Women Orgasm?

Still a mystery, but the scientific evidence is evolving.

 

 

5 Common Mistakes Therapists Make with Estranged Parents, 

Joshua Coleman, Ph.D.

1) Blaming the parent. While it’s potentially forgivable that the general populace doesn’t yet know that a decent and dedicated parent can become estranged, there’s no excuse for a therapist failing to know that. Many therapists, without evidence, assume that the parent is the primary cause of an estrangement and as a result, perpetuate feelings of shame and guilt.

2) Not helping the parent acknowledge the legitimate complaints of the adult child. Some therapists believe that it’s their job to support the parent no matter how problematic their behavior. In doing so, they fail to challenge the parent’s behavior that either led to the estrangement or continues to perpetuate it.

3) Giving bad advice. It’s not uncommon for therapists to encourage estranged parents to be overly assertive or confrontive with their estranged adult children. This advice imagines that the parent has more power and influence than they commonly do once an estrangement is in place. Therapists with this orientation fail to recognize that being more assertive and confrontive with an estranged adult child typically worsens, rather than betters the parent’s situation. It causes the adult child to feel hurt or misunderstood and to further their resolve to keep their distance.

4) Failing to understand the power of a letter of amends to the estranged adult child. The road to a potential reconciliation almost always starts with the parent’s acknowledgment of their past mistakes, however small. Therapists who don’t help their clients find the kernel of truth in the estranged child’s complaints miss a critical and often necessary opportunity for repair.

5) Being too reassuring. It’s common that not only friends but therapists are overly reassuring about the chance for a future reconciliation: “They’ll be back;” “They’ll remember all that you’ve done for them;” “It’s just a phase.” While sometimes those predictions are accurate, no one knows for sure if or when an estrangement will end. False reassurance is no assurance at all. Better to help the client practice radical acceptance and self-compassion.

Hardwiring for Happiness

by Rick Hanson

I share this classic TED talk yearly. I was fortunate to hear him speak a few years back on meditation, the brain processes, and how we can rewire/change our negative thinking patterns.

500 Days in Prison

The Seven Laws of Pessimism

"If life is better than ever before, why does the world seem so depressing?"

January 2024

“I hate pictures of myself.” OK, screw that. In five years, I will look back and love this photo and think of how great I looked here.

Turning the calendar year, I want to take a minute to appreciate my many, many blessings:

Fam - two cute kids (😘), hard-charging parents, the kindest in-laws, my favorite tio & primos.

I think I have the best friends in the world. Most of us go back decades together.

My colleagues are always there for me: golden wisdom & skilled expertise. It’s not always easy to build a support system. Smart, smart peeps!

Lastly, I love my work (clients & community) and the people that share their experiences with me. Such an honor.

Instagram

 What To Do With Emotions

Say No To Police Profanity

Male Caregivers

On Bullying

The latest research on bullying has some helpful takeaways.

1) Bullying exists in all cultures; this informs the likelihood that bullying serves a purpose for human development and evolution.

2) Administrative sit-downs between both parties (victim/bully) do not work; in fact, they make matters worse.

3) Bullying pays off. We see it on social media, in athletes, politicians, and celebrities.

4) 80% of bullying happens in front of others, suggesting it's performative.

5) Workplace bullies feel entitled, as if they deserve more. They score lower in honesty and humility than the average person.

6) Bullies cycle through targets.

7) Females bully for resources (mates).

8) Bullying can be learned from parents; winner take all mentality.

9) Long-term effects of bullying include altered expression of genes and compromise our immune response for decades.

10) Solutions lie in a "carrot and stick" approach: punishment and seduction towards better behavior.

Work, Work, Work

 Bees Language

 Young Men and What's Not Expected

"I won't assume anything about you based on immutable characteristics.

I respect the cultural values of my clients and their families.

I believe in teaching children to accept their bodies.

I believe in empowering my patients and helping them find agency.

I welcome clients who wish to integrate their faith into counseling.

I will treat you as a whole person. I will explore underlying and complex issues you face as an individual.

I believe in working collaboratively with parents and helping families build stronger connections.

I do not judge people for their personal medical decisions."

courtesy of thetruthfultherapist.org

This is how the human brain works: we have evolved to fear the worst and remember all the bad things to protect ourselves and the future of our species. We ruminate on the prior fails and fire/wire all threat response memory. Knowing this, we can hack our hardwire and find a way to embellish the positive experiences (truly embed them!) and minimize or dissipate those harmful and disturbing encounters.

The greater the love, the greater the grief. Monday was the one year anniversary of Chris's passing. I was reminded that his suffering ended that day, so I survived the day with less sorrow. Chris didn't go around with a bumper sticker on his car that said, "Family First." He just did it. He didn’t draw attention to himself about how devoted he was to our family. He just did it. Day in and day out, he never faltered in giving the most that he could each and every day. He didn’t brag or boast. He had disdain for people who did that. My favorite story that I heard after Chris passed was from Japheth, our "bumper guy." He told me that Chris was his only client that sat in the car all the while work was being done. Just sort of...participating. There is no love without loss. My husband loved Christmas...Christmas music. He loved the beginning of summer. He loved the smell of night air that reminded him of Vista in the wayback days. He loved good fruit. He loved a great meal. He was scuba certified and he jumped out of an airplane via parachute maybe 50 times. He didn’t mention these things often but I believe he released himself to the next world having gotten the most out of the marrow. Because I loved him so much, I don’t think he deserved what he got in the end. The ugly monster of cancer. Another friend sent me the quote from C.S. Lewis: "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." Chris absolutely had his faith in The Great Spirit. If there is a heaven, I know he is there. Measure twice. Cut once. Honorable.

Dog Days of Summer

David Hockney

Some Recommended Reading:

Rich Friends/Poor Friends (Sign up for his free newsletter)

Julie Bindel (Sign up for her free newsletter)

Persuasion (Sign up for the free newsletter)

The Four Horsemen & Antidotes

My professional role working with young adults for many years will speak here - but please understand that I also have great compassion wearing my mom-hat. I have two sons. One loves the remote learning and would frankly prefer it. My other was crushed by it early on.

School and college failure is a large part of my clinical/therapeutic practice as a licensed therapist. There are many reasons that our terrific kiddos do not thrive in their college/uni years: yes, even those who do exceptionally well in high school (academics/sports, extracurriculars). In fact, those super achievers sometimes have a harder time. Some common reasons...1) College is really, really hard. Graduating is not at all about IQ or potential 2) Party atmosphere 3) bad choices 3) Depression/anxiety 4) Unmotivated. That's absolutely not a parent's job to fix. The consequences for not completing school have to be clearly outlined as early as possible. 5) The unknowns. Some times we have NO IDEA what is really going on with our children. Finally, 6) College isn't the right path for many of us. Our goals are not always their goals. That has to be ok! Life is bigger than that degree. 

-------------------------

The Lost Art of Bi-Phasic Sleep

Emotional Holiday Fitness aka Self Care

1. Memorize a short poem.
2. Maker muffins for the local fire dept.
3. Clean out a closet and donate.
4. Choose five books to read in 2022.
5. If travelling, choose close-by support meetings in advance. 
6. Go to the zoo.
7. Write a song.
8. Create new traditions
9. Don’t feel compelled to bring food or presents to gatherings. 
10. Create 10 minute escapes if we know we will be in a tense environ i.e., a phone call with a grounding friend at a designated time. 
11. Try to hit your 10,000 steps. 
12. Remove social media that makes you feel bad about yourself. 
13. Don’t feel restricted to dietary limitations. 
14. Take your own car if you feel you might want to arrive later or leave earlier for your own well-being. 
15. Anticipate that significant dates naturally invite us to feel sadness or grief (Embrace the Suck).
16. Write letters to people you love and tell them how important they are to us. The greatest gift of all.
17. Write a letter to a deceased loved-one. 
18. Start your holiday with early morning sunshine, proven to reset our sleep habits and create a better sense of well-being throughout the day.

 

 

 

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