Humility: not the same as "humiliated" or "humiliating."
Humility is about being right-sized.
What's it good for?
Being gracious, getting along with others, admitting when we're wrong, allowing others to be wrong, forgiving a transgression, being open, soft, and teachable. People who are humble have flexibility, do not feel the need to have the last word or be right. Humility is the opposite of demanding. It is contagious. When we are humble with our partners, they feel it, like it, and are more likely to yield. Humility leads to repair statements, such as, "I misunderstood," "I want to please you," and "We're on the same team." Humility allows for more breath, oxygen, and clear thinking; less reactivity and more self-control. A state of humility suggests that I do not necessarily know what's best and I want to see this moment from your perspective, I want to know about your experience. Four conditions (the evil four-headed horsemen that undermine relationships) that prevent humility include: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and withdrawing.
Try to find a way to become humble in your intimate and meaningful relationships. Just, try it!
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