Every
human being wants to belong. This need is so strong that people will
do nearly anything to feel like they are part of something.
Personal relationships form a safety net around individuals to
protect them from too much isolation. Long ago, people who strayed from
a group had a much harder time surviving the elements or avoiding
starvation. While it’s physically safer now to live a solitary life,
emotional isolation can still threaten a person’s mental well-being.
Social support is a vital and effective part of depression
recovery. It can turn around damaging isolation, affect a person’s
life focus, and generate solutions for depression management. Learn
more about how this powerful social force can positively effect someone
living with depression.
Social Connection Curbs Your Sense of Isolation
Depression is a selfish, abusive captor. It enjoys nothing more than
seeing you all alone, feeling like nobody would miss you if you weren’t
around. It magnifies your sense of shame, making sure you believe that
no one could understand or care about your struggles. You can easily
imagine rejection and ridicule for speaking up. Holding your tongue
might keep you isolated, but at least you’d avoid petrifying
embarrassment.
This can seem like the lesser of two evils and a reasonable tradeoff.
But in the end, isolation breeds only more isolation. This creates a
reclusive lifestyle that can cut you off from people who mean a lot to
you. Your hopelessness and thoughts of despair will only get worse over
time. Your isolation can put you at much greater risk for suicidal
thoughts (1). So how does social support counteract this destructive
spiral?
People are meant to be social beings, and we have better lives when
we care about each other. Sharing your innermost feelings can seem like
a huge risk. Human beings often do whatever they can to avoid complete
rejection from others. But relationships aren’t just for the good
times. People lift each other up when they go through tough situations.
This often strengthens their personal ties as well. Why? Because
it’s real life, and genuine real life has fear, uncertainty, and
problems. The good times mean even more when you’ve been through some
valleys together.
The isolation that comes with depression can cut you off from these
important relationships. Getting help from a caring person isn’t about
pity or being a “defective” human being. It’s just the way people are
supposed to be with each other. You may need to choose your confidants
carefully. If you have a few people in your life who are genuinely
concerned for your well-being, then hold on to them. They are a
priceless part of your life and depression recovery. However, if you
have toxic, unreliable individuals in your life, be very careful. These
people may use your personal vulnerability to their advantage, hurting
you time and again. A pastor or mental health counselor may be a good
place to start if this is your situation.
Social Support Keeps You Connected with Life
An isolated, depressed person can slowly die on the vine, believing
the world is better off without him or her (or that that person is
better off without the world). Thoughts of death coupled with intense
negative emotion are two of the most dangerous aspects of depression. A
person who keeps meaningful connections with others stays connected
with life. He or she can visualize the future, making plans to keep on
living and stay out of harm’s way.
When you are depressed, isolation turns you away from life. This
creates a self-fulfilling cycle where you feel increasingly rejected and
remain disconnected, increasing the chances that your connections might
fade or weaken. This dangerous combination affects how you see your
very existence. Instead of turning your vision toward growth and
living, you become focused on avoiding the most pain. And
unfortunately, death can easily become the leading candidate for pain relief.
Sometimes a support person has to forcibly break through strong walls
of isolation to make a connection. This may be met with fierce
resistance, especially if isolation has been prolonged or you are
feeling suicidal. However, if you have some flicker of life inside
(even if it is deeply covered) or you have a great deal of trust in your
support person, you can turn your vision from death to life. When the
pattern is changed to include regular social time with positive, trusted
people, depression’s grip can be loosened. Life is put back on center
stage, giving death less and less time in the spotlight.
Social Connection Helps You Find Solutions
If you have depression and you reach out to a trusted, non-depressed
person for help, you highlight one of the more important aspects of
social support. Helping people, if chosen wisely, will have a vision of
health that you can’t muster yourself. A non-depressed person can
create and capture a healthier vision of your life, something you truly
need in order to get better. It’s so easy to lose perspective when you
are inside depression, even forgetting what healthy periods of your life
looked and felt like.
Until you can truly capture that vision for yourself, a supportive person can hold on to it for you. It’s hard to reach a goal when you can’t figure out what it looks like. This “borrowed” vision from a support person can keep it real and thriving, even broken down into smaller pieces when that’s all you can handle. As you improve, you can live out and see the vision more clearly. The support person acts much like a compass, helping to reorient you to a healthier path of life.
Until you can truly capture that vision for yourself, a supportive person can hold on to it for you. It’s hard to reach a goal when you can’t figure out what it looks like. This “borrowed” vision from a support person can keep it real and thriving, even broken down into smaller pieces when that’s all you can handle. As you improve, you can live out and see the vision more clearly. The support person acts much like a compass, helping to reorient you to a healthier path of life.
Depressed thinking often involves replaying many of the same
problems, the same negative scripts, and predicting the same (or worse)
outcomes from the past. It’s really hard to be innovative or logical
about what you really need to do if you only consult yourself. Friends,
counselors, trusted health professionals, loving family members, and
other supporters can help you generate a variety of solutions.
If you are still quite doubtful or confused about your options, a
support person can gently help you see which ones might be the most
helpful. You may have clear ideas about what you need but not about how
to get started. You may also have a good idea about what hasn’t
worked, but not why. When you bounce these issues off someone else, you
open yourself up to their encouragement and their fresh ideas.
Sometimes, all it takes is some new perspective on your situation to
expose more effective solutions.
Social Support: A Vital Part of Depression Recovery
Depression recovery can be a complex process, but you don’t have to
do it alone. Social support goes way beyond your friends trying to
cheer you up a little. It’s about making genuine connections and
spending time with people who care about you. It’s about knowing that
you matter to other people. Depression can create a pit of despair and
hopelessness inside you. With your loved ones nearby, the pit won’t be
nearly as frightening. Your safety net is ready to keep you from
falling in.
APA Reference
Krull, E. (2012). Social Support Is Critical for Depression Recovery. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 21, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/social-support-is-critical-for-depression-recovery/
Krull, E. (2012). Social Support Is Critical for Depression Recovery. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 21, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/social-support-is-critical-for-depression-recovery/