Tuesday, Aug 21, 2012 05:00 PM PDT
I got pregnant from rape
Todd Akin doesn't know the first thing about what it's like to live with sexual assault. At 19, I found out
At 19
years old, I became an unwilling expert on the topic of rape. I learned
about rape’s savagery and its psychological trauma.
Lately, we’ve been hearing from men who don’t know much about the subject at all. On Monday, Senate candidate Rep. Todd Akin, R-Mo., created a stir when he said, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” But his casual, off-the-cuff ignorance is just the latest in a long line of insults. In March, Kansas Rep. Pete DeGraf said, “Women should plan ahead for rape the way he keeps a spare tire.” A few weeks after that Indiana state Rep. Eric Turner said, “Some women might fake being raped in order to get free abortions.” I can’t stand by and watch these men who have no personal experience with sexual assault pretend to know so much about it.
I do know about rape. I received an education of the highest degree, and now it’s my turn to teach.
My story begins during an overnight at my best friend’s camp on a lake in Central New York. I rode to the camp with my best friend and her husband, who was in the Navy and home on leave. When we got there, she told me I could have the best bedroom upstairs since everyone else was sleeping on the first floor. Feeling special, I unpacked my belongings in the secluded little room at the end of the hall. That night, I was the first to go to bed.
Sound asleep, I awoke in the middle of the night to the force of a cold, calloused hand across my mouth. It was my best friend’s husband. He was a big guy, and I was frozen with fear and intimidation; I could not move a muscle. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. My eyes were screaming at him: Why are you doing this to me? But my voice was silent. His hand clamped over my mouth had stopped the flow of words. I wondered what I had done to make this happen, to make my best friend’s husband want to hurt me?
Then I realized he wasn’t alone. I saw the second face in the darkness — another friend I had known all my life was now on top of me. The pain began shooting through my body as he tore off my underwear. It felt like everything stopped in that moment, mentally and physically. My breathing stopped. The blood in my veins stopped flowing.
I realize now that this was just the beginning of what it is like to be raped. My old life was gone, over. Now, I walked into darkness shackled to a completely different existence, one I could never have imagined.
Close
Lately, we’ve been hearing from men who don’t know much about the subject at all. On Monday, Senate candidate Rep. Todd Akin, R-Mo., created a stir when he said, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” But his casual, off-the-cuff ignorance is just the latest in a long line of insults. In March, Kansas Rep. Pete DeGraf said, “Women should plan ahead for rape the way he keeps a spare tire.” A few weeks after that Indiana state Rep. Eric Turner said, “Some women might fake being raped in order to get free abortions.” I can’t stand by and watch these men who have no personal experience with sexual assault pretend to know so much about it.
I do know about rape. I received an education of the highest degree, and now it’s my turn to teach.
My story begins during an overnight at my best friend’s camp on a lake in Central New York. I rode to the camp with my best friend and her husband, who was in the Navy and home on leave. When we got there, she told me I could have the best bedroom upstairs since everyone else was sleeping on the first floor. Feeling special, I unpacked my belongings in the secluded little room at the end of the hall. That night, I was the first to go to bed.
Sound asleep, I awoke in the middle of the night to the force of a cold, calloused hand across my mouth. It was my best friend’s husband. He was a big guy, and I was frozen with fear and intimidation; I could not move a muscle. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. My eyes were screaming at him: Why are you doing this to me? But my voice was silent. His hand clamped over my mouth had stopped the flow of words. I wondered what I had done to make this happen, to make my best friend’s husband want to hurt me?
Then I realized he wasn’t alone. I saw the second face in the darkness — another friend I had known all my life was now on top of me. The pain began shooting through my body as he tore off my underwear. It felt like everything stopped in that moment, mentally and physically. My breathing stopped. The blood in my veins stopped flowing.
I realize now that this was just the beginning of what it is like to be raped. My old life was gone, over. Now, I walked into darkness shackled to a completely different existence, one I could never have imagined.
Close
Renee DeVesty lectures frequently on college campuses across
the Northeast and is a Registered Speaker’s Bureau Member of RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, and the Founder/Executive Producer of the Clean Slate Diaries, Events of Empowerment for survivors of Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence.
More Renee DeVesty.