11.26.2016

What Are Healthy Boundaries?


I heard a woman discuss "healthy boundaries" this week. This is much harder to describe than it would appear. I appreciated her insight - here is a recap. "Boundaries are not random and fluid feelings about what I like or selfish willy-nilly demands of my loved ones. And, hurt feelings or behaving in a way that I don't agree with does not constitute disrespecting my boundaries. Boundaries are speaking more specifically to a mutual understanding and co-existing with loved ones that meet or fulfill our basic needs and maintain or support our well-being. Healthy boundaries are a set of principles and standards that we have established for ourselves, after an in-depth personal examination of how we best operate and exist in the world. In essence, it's our personal playbook towards optimal and complimentary  relationships, given our unique strengths and vulnerabilities. My boundaries are probably different than yours, appropriately so. Furthermore, any breach or violation of my boundaries is my responsibility and not yours."



"Evolutionary thinking is actually contemplative thinking because it leaves the full field of the future in God’s hands and agrees to humbly hold the present with what it only tentatively knows for sure. Evolutionary thinking agrees to both knowing and not knowing, at the same time. To stay on the ride, to trust the trajectory, to know it is moving, and moving somewhere always better, is just another way to describe faith. We are all in evolution all the time, it seems to me. It is the best, the truest, way to think"  —Richard Rohr, “Evolutionary Thinking