Some people hate therapy...for a variety of reasons. Perhaps they had a prior experience that didn't help or were forced to go as a kid, when parents were going through a divorce. And it was super lame. Or, maybe they see the tv-version and it looks very self-indulgent or sappy. Sometimes people are confident in their own ability to solve a problem so they do not seek outside "paid" assistance. My job is not to convince someone that therapy is useful...I get it. It's expensive, time-consuming, and challenges our energy.
Here are a few alternatives:
Community - I have seen folks find great emotional comfort and relief through groups like Cross-Fit, Book clubs, gardening and cooking classes. Fun, healthy, and adventurous!Church - If you had a church that you enjoyed at one time, perhaps return. Or, find a new one. There are so many to choose from, all with their own flavor.
Podcasts - The volume of amazing and helpful podcasts these days is wonderful. I listen to as many as I can, everything from the Men's shows, spiritual talks, dead philosophers (Alan Watts), writers, health fanatics, and travellers. My favorites are This American Life, MindMatters, Joe Rogan, Ben Greenfield, Sounds True,Tami Simon and Byron Katie. They are inspiring and free for the taking.
YouTube Videos - Everyday someone tells me about a Youtube video that helped them. Wonderful!
Books/Workbooks - There is even a Mindful Workbook for Women with Low Libido. Books (and books on tape, Kindle) are a great way to learn new ways of thinking and behaving.
Webinars/Courses Online/DIY - So many! Choose your topic (sexuality, relationships, parenting, substance abuse, depression, anxiety) and see what you can find, for free
Here's a good one.
Local Mental Health Offerings/Workshops - NAMI provides on-going classes for loved ones of those afflicted with mental illness. Most hospitals offer free support groups and lectures.12 Step Meetings/MeetUps - Again, free, and available. Any specific topic you would like to discuss has most likely been established. Caregivers groups, cancer thrivers, anxiety, all available.
Journaling - Writing is therapeutic. Write only for your eyes, letters to those that have hurt you, those that you have hurt, those that you grieve, and those that you appreciate.
Music/Dance - This is a way to move the body and distract ourselves from the current pain or focus of difficulty. Movement is cathartic and releases our stress.
Nutritionists - I often think that nutritionists are the underutilized resource. These practitioners know the mind-body connection. They know food. They will organize a healthy meal schedule, encourage accountability, and cheer lead any progress. Please know that we all don't need a seven day detox, a juice fast, or the Keto diet. A raw diet would kill me, but it is a necessary way of life for a friend of mine. Each and every body has its own needs; let an expert guide you.
Retreats - So many to choose from! Ladies who want to climb a big mountain, men that SUP in Costa Rica, a silent retreat, couples retreat, art and wine retreat. Eco tours, horseback riding in France, planting seeds in Swaziland (yes, I know a family of 7 that does this every year).
Your Own Backyard - If you are having marital or relational difficulty, look around your family and friends, perhaps there is a couple that would be thrilled and honored to share their wisdom. If you are having parenting issues, find a parent that you think is doing it well; ask for help. If you are cheating, there might be a trusted friend that can offer you clarity and suggest solutions. Do you have a kind and intelligent uncle, neighbor, teacher, someone that you respect? Become willing to be vulnerable and reach out to your elders, this is the ancient way of getting support and guidance.
Study/Chaperone Abroad - My two semesters abroad changed my life: one in Guadalajara, Mexico, and another in Cambridge, England. Personally expansive and self-enriching.
Volunteering - This shows to be the one with the biggest payoffs. A friend of mine is an ER nurse. She has been to Guatemela twice (her own dime) to build ovens for women and children. This country leads in burns due to open fire cooking. The pictures she brings back and the full heart....wow. My volunteer stints have included a shelter in Boyle Heights, East L.A., an Indian reservation in South Dakota, and the maximum security women's prison in San Diego, Las Colinas. Other ideas include food banks, animal shelters, youth sports teams, and libraries.An acquaintance of mine recently told me of her first panic attack. She is newly married, her mother is aging rapidly, and she had just attended the funeral of a close family friend. After the tumult had settled down, she found herself drifting into scary thoughts and irrational doom and gloom, culminating in a heart-racing, overwhelming morning that forced her to return home and into bed. Intuitively, she created a strategy, upon reflection, to get herself into a calm and productive state of mind. In the gym now, and on her intense runs, only music that is upbeat (no more E/rap); limiting herself to two hours of television a day (no crime drama or death content), minimizing the news to 20 minutes day, limiting caffeine to 2 cups per day, journalizing, and meditation 3x5 minutes daily, and reading something cheerful before bed. Her first day was miraculously and she is on her way to recovery...
The world is our oyster.