Physical enduring vulnerabilities are the easiest to conceptualize. I broke my radius as a teenager in a bicycle accident; to this day, that wrist is skinnier than the other. Once we have had a break, a fracture, or injury to a body part, it's always a bit hinky,
My personal recent example: A neighbors house recently had a terrible garage fire, resulting in complete structural damage and county-wide news attention. (Five houses down from mine).
Our neighborhood came together and felt badly for this family experiencing such a devastating loss. As I drove by their charred home the first few days, I would see the homeowners out front dealing with insurance adjusters, hauling trash away, and close family and friends gathering. About the fifth day after the incident, things had quieted down so I walked over to speak directly to the homeowner as he was packing up his car with what little was left. I walked onto their front lawn, and greeted Bill with a big hug and condolences. I began to tell him that I had also suffered a fire as a small child - my few childhood photos still bear the burned edges.Standing there, hugging him, taking in the acrid smokiness and seeing the burned out vehicle in the driveway, kids bikes toasted, my voice caught, and I suddenly felt overcome with a memory of my childhood fire, and the ensuing loss we had felt.
It was a memory, viscerally triggered by all of my senses flooding simultaneously, that frankly, completely surprised me. I have told that "my house burned as a young child" story many times. I would have sworn that I had no hangover, no residual grief, from it...but I was wrong. And, that's probably a good thing.
My husband has an enduring vulnerability that came to light once we had our first child. As our son became older and played more wildly outside, my husband was noticeably nervous about swings and ropes, to the point of silliness (in my eyes). Finally, he told me that he lost a friend as a young boy in an accidental backyard hanging. His enduring vulnerability was that boys can easily be harmed by ropes so one must be extra careful. He sees danger where I do not, perhaps making him anxious and irritable, a low-level fight or flight sensation that he may or may not be able to recognize, that can impact the whole family system unless we can call it out and discuss.
