8.31.2012

Research Particpants Needed


Depression after pregnancy?
Tell me your story.

If you have recovered from depression after pregnancy and you are a military spouse then you may qualify to receive $20 for participation in this doctoral dissertation research project. This study consists of a brief prescreening phone interview and either an in-person or skype interview reviewing how you recovered from depression after pregnancy.  Your information may be helpful for future military spouses suffering from postpartum depression and the mental health/medical providers who provide care for them during their recovery process. 
If you would like to schedule the pre-screening phone call please call Tahney Gaige, M.A. at
 (971)   216 -2384  or email at ppdrecovery@gmail.com
This doctoral dissertation study has been approved by the Institutional Review Board at Alliant International University.

8.30.2012

Effective Communication Tools



1)         In stating a problem, always begin with something positive. “I like it when you hold me while we watch tv. But I feel rejected when you aren’t affectionate in other situations.”
2)         Be specific. “You seldom ask me questions about my day,” or, “Most of the time I initiate sex.”
3)         Express your feelings. “I feel rejected and unloved when you don’t include me in your weekend plans,”or,“It’s very frustrating when I want sex but have to wait for you to initiate it.”
4)         Admit your role in the problem. “I know that I can make it hard for you to play with the kids because I sometimes step in and interfere.”
5)         Be brief when defining problems. Do not devote excessive time to describing, rather than solving, a problem. No need to mention the multiple times one can remember being hurt and feeling angry. Why questions do not help. “Why do you feel it necessary to avoid my requests?” This is verbal masturbation.
6)         Side-tracking is useless. Husband: “I’d like you to be nicer to my mother.” Wife: “Since when are you nice to my family?”
7)         Discuss only one problem area at a time.
8)         Don’t make inferences-only talk about specifics. “I think you’re mad at me because I criticized your driving,” or, “There’s a lot of anger in you.” Instead offer a specific, “When you said my dress was too young for me in front of Bill and Lisa, I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.”
9)         Focus on solutions and brainstorm together. “How can we  solve this together? It sounds as if we’re both frustrated and hurt.”
10)       Paraphrase: Every remark should be brief, summarized, and simple.

8.28.2012

Free IEP Special Ed Day, September 22, 2012



Free IEP Evaluation Day for parents of children with special needs. The event will be held on Saturday, September 22, 2012 in San Diego.
 
IEP Evaluation Day will provide parents with a free one-on-one consultation specific to their child's educational needs. This is a fantastic free opportunity for parents to ask questions they may have regarding their child's special education program.

Please visit www.specialedlaw.us/seminars.php to view the flyer for the event, or send me an email and I can forward you the flyer. You can also visit my website at www.specialedlaw.us.

Thank you.

Thomas Nelson, Special Education Advocate & Attorney

Thomas S. Nelson, Esq.
The Special Education Advocacy & Law Firm of Thomas S. Nelson
16466 Bernardo Center Drive, Suite 106
San Diego, California 92128


Tel: (858) 945-6621
Fax: (858) 521-0678
www.specialedlaw.us  

8.27.2012

Rent Laws // Eviction // Changing Locks

Landlord wants to force out tenant by changing locks

Unilaterally locking out a tenant is never permissible



Question: I have rented a room in my house to a woman and her young daughter. After she moved in, she changed the lock on the door to her room without my consent and had male companions in her room who were very noisy and disruptive. If she continues to make me uncomfortable in my own home, can I just change the locks to force her to leave? If I can't get rid of her, can I at least force her to give me a key to her room?
Answer: Unilaterally locking out a tenant is never legally permissible, no matter the justification. Under California Civil Code section 789.3, a landlord who engages in a lockout is liable for damages of $100 for each day of the lockout.
Generally, the only way to legally remove a tenant is to prosecute an unlawful detainer case in the local Superior Court. There is an exception in the case of a single lodger, as defined in Civil Code section 1946.5. If the tenant qualifies as a single lodger, you can give her a 30-day written notice of termination. If she then fails to leave, she is considered a trespasser, subject to removal by the local police. However, many local police departments will not enforce this statute, preferring that a landlord use the unlawful detainer process instead.
In your case, this option is not available because you have two tenants, not a single lodger.
You do have a right to a key to the room, because you may have a lawful need to enter; for example, if there were a fire or some other emergency.
The tenant maintains her right to privacy even though you have a key: Civil Code section 1954 significantly limits your ability to enter the room. You cannot enter unless you have one of the purposes listed in this statute, such as a need to make a repair, and you must give written notice 24 hours in advance, unless there is a true emergency or you have the tenant's consent.
If the tenant continues to refuse to provide a copy of the room key, you should give her a Three-Day Notice to Perform Covenant or Quit, specifying that performance requires giving you a key. If she doesn't give you a key within the three days covered by the notice, you can then file an unlawful detainer action to evict her.
Eichner is director of Housing Counseling Programs for Project Sentinel, a nonprofit agency providing tenant-landlord and fair housing counseling in four Bay Area counties. Send questions to info@housing.org

8.26.2012

Marriage Help for Military // Effects of Alcohol and Drug Abuse


Marriage and Family Counseling Collaborative (MFCC)
The CDP has been happy to partner with the Marriage and Family Counseling Collaborative (MFCC) by hosting their information and material while they worked to create their permanent site. We're pleased to announce that the MFCC has transitioned into the Alliance of Military & Veteran Family Behavioral Health Providers and that their new Web site is live and located at http://www.ecu.edu/che/alliance/. We at the CDP look forward to continuing to work with the Alliance in the future!
The Marriage and Family Counseling Collaborative (MFCC) is a partnership group designed to inform, educate, and support providers who work with military Service members and their families.
The following resource guides were developed by the MFCC.  The Center for Deployment Psychology (CDP) makes no claims, promises, or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the contents of these resource guides.
Domestic Violence Resource Guide
Family Support Resource Guide
Healthcare Provider Resource Guide
Continuing Education Resource Guide
If you are interested in joining the MFCC please "click here" to complete a brief registration form.  There is no cost to join and the MFCC will keep you informed of updates to the content of this Resources webpage and on the latest issues related to caring for military families.
The MFCC is a separate entity from the CDP and questions regarding the MFCC should be directed to CDR Brenda Gearhart at brenda.l.gearhart@amedd.army.mil.


 ***

8.25.2012

Couples Communication Rules




Simple Couples Communication Rules for 

Respectful Conversations
1)         In stating a problem, always begin with something positive. “I like it when you hold me while we watch tv. But I feel rejected when you aren’t affectionate in other situations.”
2)         Be specific. “You seldom ask me questions about my day,” or, “Most of the time I initiate sex.”
3)         Express your feelings. “I feel rejected and unloved when you don’t include me in your weekend plans,”or,“It’s very frustrating when I want sex but have to wait for you to initiate it.”
4)         Admit your role in the problem. “I know that I can make it hard for you to play with the kids because I sometimes step in and interfere.”
5)         Be brief when defining problems. Do not devote excessive time to describing, rather than solving, a problem. No need to mention the multiple times one can remember being hurt and feeling angry. Why questions do not help. “Why do you feel it necessary to avoid my requests?” This is verbal masturbation.
6)         Side-tracking is useless. Husband: “I’d like you to be nicer to my mother.” Wife: “Since when are you nice to my family?”
7)         Discuss only one problem area at a time.
8)         Don’t make inferences-only talk about specifics. “I think you’re mad at me because I criticized your driving,” or, “There’s a lot of anger in you.” Instead offer a specific, “When you said my dress was too young for me in front of Bill and Lisa, I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.”
9)         Focus on solutions and brainstorm together. “How can we  solve this together? It sounds as if we’re both frustrated and hurt.”
10)       Paraphrase: Every remark should be brief, summarized, and simple.

8.23.2012

Tips for Establishing Credit

Tips for establishing a credit history

Building a credit score is harder than it used to be. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling offers some advice.


Credit
The credit score algorithm likes to see different kinds of accounts. (Nick Ut, AP / September 5, 2007)
Establishing a credit history is harder than it used to be — lenders are being extra cautious with new applicants. If you're applying for credit for the first time, here are some tips from the National Foundation for Credit Counseling:
Start slowly. "Applying for too much credit at once can send the wrong signal to the lender, making it appear that you are desperate for credit," said the NFCC. Also, too many applications for credit cards can hurt your credit score.
Co-signer. If you have been denied credit, see if a parent or other relative will come aboard as a co-signer. Just remember, if you don't make payments on time, you can damage the co-signer's credit as well as your own.
Three. "You'll need at least three lines of credit, or else your file will be considered too thin for the all-important credit score to evaluate," said the NFCC. But avoid using more than 30% of your available credit.
Variety. The credit score algorithm likes to see different kinds of accounts. So don't apply just for credit cards — when appropriate, also obtain a closed-end account, such as a car loan.
Secured credit card. To get this kind of card, you put money in an account with an issuing bank and get a credit line for the same amount. "Handling this type of credit responsibly will likely lead to being offered an unsecured card," said the NFCC.
scott.wilson@latimes.com